By Monica Garcia Saenz
As the Holiday Season approaches quickly followed by yet another New Year many women consciously and quite worriedly or maybe subconsciously stress over the extra pounds we didn’t manage to lose this year, once again. And some of us find ourselves in agony over the new pounds that stubbornly showed up uninvited and seemingly out of nowhere and refuse to leave.
Every year millions of women stress over the pretty little black dress or the tight blue jeans we can no longer fit into. We painfully watch the numbers on the scale go up, slightly down and then up again in this torturous dance we do with the dream of being thinner, lighter, prettier or better than who we are today. Sometimes we buy that pretty blouse a size smaller because it’s on sale and we can’t find it in a larger size or worse, as an incentive to lose the weight. We swear and promise ourselves that this time it will finally happen, for real.
Sometimes we look back at those old photos on Throwback Thursday and realize how fabulously beautiful we were back then…. And we pause to wish we could once again be that size from back when we used to think we were fat… before we even knew what fat really was.
And this crazy dance continues year after year as we fail to fully savor, enjoy and celebrate our magnificent beautiful bodies filled with flaws, layers and complexities that match our personal and unique journey we’ve been traveling for all these years. We get lost in focusing on having what isn’t that we forget to enjoy what already is and who we already are right now, in this very moment.
It’s this inability to fully love and accept ourselves as we already are that keeps us in that toxic and unhealthy relationship or that dead-end, unsatisfying job because somewhere, somehow we don’t believe that we actually deserve better. This has become our new normal, it’s what we know and it feels safe so we must stay here even though we often times loathe it or hate it.
Now, I’m not an expert and I don’t claim to have it all figured out but I think that the weight we carry has just as much to do with our very complex emotional and deep mental layers as it does with what we put in our mouths and the lack of movement we give our bodies in exercise.
I think that those cravings for sugar or salt just might be cravings for love, affection and maybe even satisfaction or the need to live our passion instead of just the routine. I think some of us have been hurt in love relationships and the layers of fat are layers of protection against exposing our hearts, falling in love and being vulnerable to the pain again. Some of us want to be viewed as more than just a sexual object to be desired, toyed with and tossed away like an old rag doll. We wish to be heard and seen for our talents, our abilities, our creativity and our ideas. We long to be noticed for our mind and our heart instead of just having a pair of nice jugs and a sweet ass.
Some of us eat away our pain, drink away our sorrows and hide behind the layers of pleasurable eating. Comfort food becomes our best friend as we tell ourselves we don’t need a man, we didn’t really want that job and that blouse really isn’t that cute after all.
Home becomes our safe haven to hide away from the scary world and we no longer feel that excitement or joy we once did in a brisk walk outdoors or a run through the neighborhood. The layers slowly become both our safety net and our prison and fear keeps us locked away.
Sure many of us are happy creatures by nature and we can’t help but be that eternal optimist who puts on a good front. Eventually we even manage to convince ourselves of how happy we are. But we’re not. Not really.
The truth is that we are weighed down and sluggish in this unhealthy body and all the dieting in the world can’t save us. We no longer have the energy to do the things we once did or bring forth those dreams that are still waiting to be. Inside our spirit feels light and young but the physical layers have a way of taking their toll and weighing us down. I think deep down on some level we all know that an unhealthy body is self-betray and self-sabotage instead of self-love and happiness.
We have to get sick and tired of being sick and tired in order to reach that rock bottom place where we’ve had enough and decide to finally bring about powerful, life altering change. We have to discover self-love in order to uncover those layers and begin the shedding process. We must peel them back one by one like the layers of an onion and sometimes cry in the process, it’s OK.
Sure it’s important to eat less and exercise more. Burn more calories than we take in. Eat less carbs and more fruits, vegetable and proteins. Less sugar and fats, more vitamins and minerals. Drink more water and tea, less coffee and soda Yes, we’ve all heard that and tried it a time or three yet here we are in the same place or worse off than last year.
But what we don’t hear enough about is what actually brought us to this place we now find ourselves in? What are those layers we so passionately and stubbornly carry around with us daily? What pain are you still holding onto? Where does the anger, suffering, bitterness come from? What is your story? What ugly or horrible experience did you endure that you haven’t let go of and it’s still weighing you down. I think this is where an experienced health coach or therapist could come in real handy to help peel pack those layers and come up with a specially designed plan that will help you or I make that much needed launch into change.
What will it take for you to start shedding those old, useless layers of your past that are keeping you from living your best, most fabulous life now? And it’s not only about finding a better relationship with a man who can actually love you, respect you and appreciate you for who you really are and everything you offer. It’s not only about getting that job you really want or making the money you deserve and manifesting your dreams. It’s not only about buying the new car or finally owning your own home or writing that book that’s been stirring inside of you for years.
It’s about enjoying and celebrating every aspect of your life, including your fabulous body as it is now and for all the potential that it has to become. It’s about fitting into those jeans and rocking them with all the self-confidence and glamour of your inner Diva. It’s about loving yourself enough to give yourself the gift of a healthy body with all the energy you need to accomplish those goals and dreams on your vision board.
It’s about creating a healthier version of you with a new and improved lifestyle filled with daily habits to help you feel, be and stay wonderful and amazing. It’s about taking that first step and then the next and not stopping until you write your own success story that will inspire everyone around you.
I think now is a good time to make a change so that next year you can look back and this version of you and see progress. It’s about the future you, five years from now thanking the you of today for getting started on this new journey into healthy, happy and successful living. What do you say? Are you ready to make this new year the best one ever? Let’s do it!