At the time of my writing this, as of April 9th, 2020 we have over 1.5 Million Worldwide Confirmed Covid-19 Cases and over 95,000 Worldwide Deaths. This number will most likely be drastically higher at the time of you reading this. I updated it twice since I started typing and then decided to just give a round number. 

Over 95 thousand people have been taken from us in the last few months by this horrible silent killer and my heart just breaks. I feel this indescribable pain in the center of my being and then I feel an incredibly deep void of all those beautiful souls all taken, all at once, before their time. Leaving the rest of us to mourn in isolation battling to stay strong and not give into the fear of this invisible monster. 

My heart breaks for each and every family member who was not able to say their last goodbye, take their last selfie, tell their last story, laugh their last laugh, say their last I’m sorry or speak their last I love you. They were robbed of that last kiss, they couldn’t hold their loved one for one last time… for every funeral that was not held… for all those who could not mourn the loss of their loved ones with family members at their side… there was no crying together, consoling each other, giving each other strength to continue on. They couldn’t share those life stories with each other in person saying “Do you remember when” or drink a shot of their favorite liquor in their name. They weren’t able to dance to their loved ones favorite song while in the company of everyone who loved them just as much. All those unbaked casserole dishes that would have arrived wrapped in love as a way of saying “You are not alone and I am so sorry for your loss.” I think of the flowers that were not thrown on the coffin or left at the cemetery, all the tombstones that are still missing and may never appear bearing their name. They’ve been robbed of all those incredibly valuable traditions we humans have carried for decades and centuries as a way of honoring the life of our loved ones in this joint right of passage where we come together to say goodbye because somehow sharing the burden of that moment with others makes it slightly more bearable than having to do it alone.

So many moments unlived. Only a void remains at the center of what once was a joyous heart.

My heart breaks for every person that died alone not knowing what even hit them and the unbearable pain, fear and who knows what else they had to face as they arrived at their final moments. They left this earth way too soon not knowing they would never even see their loved ones again, powerless to this invisible enemy. There were no proper goodbyes, no leaving their affairs in order, so many decisions unmade, futures lost. No five more minutes to say farewell and I’ll wait for you on the other side. So many lives have been interrupted abruptly and with savage cruelty. These people were just like you and me, they had things to do, places to discover and people to hug. They had unfinished business, unrealized dreams, un-reached goals and so much left to say, learn, understand and take in. They had birthdays, graduations, weddings, vacations, holidays, sunsets and so many plans on their calendar now just vanished. They left with a full TO DO list, so many items left on their bucket list. They had memories to make, chapters to write, stories to tell and legacies to leave behind. Their clock was stopped as they were taken too soon, too quickly and not by choice. 

And then my heart breaks for those who did know they could go but fearlessly walked into the line of danger anyway. They stepped up and bravely showed up to do what needed to be done. They left by sacrifice doing what they loved most, living their passion, helping others, serving those in need, making this world a better place with their love and their care. They knew they were risking it all and in their sacrifice reminding us of what it means to be a good human being. They were certainly the best of humanity. 

So many tears shed, so many moments lost and so many memories unlived. Only a void remains at the center of what once was a heart in love.

To those still remaining, this message is for you. When we started the year 2020 saying Happy New Year to our friends, family and loved ones surely none of us could have imagined what was to follow in the coming months. None of us could have known the nightmare we would endure and certainly none of us knows how this story ends or who of us will actually survive much less who we will become individually and collectively when this is all over. 

My prayer is that each of us find a way to become better and not bitter in the face of death itself. I pray that we manage to somehow release our fears, our anger and our hate once and for all. I pray that we each find a seed of love buried somewhere in the depths of our heart and water it carefully that it may grow, flourish and flow from us and out into the world through our thoughts, feelings, emotions, words and daily actions so that in doing so the incredible loss of our many brothers and sisters to this deadly virus may not have been in vain. I pray that we honor each and every one of them by striving to become the very best human being we can be from this point forward. I pray that we take at least one dream of our loved ones we have lost and make it a goal to realize it in their name before our time is up. I pray that we learn to love one another with compassion, patience, understanding and in peace. I pray that we learn to love and respect our planet taking responsibility for the choices we make and the way we live our lives because it really does matter, more than we have ever cared to admit. I pray that we discover self love and uncover it’s incredible healing powers so that we can transform into that golden version of ourselves that our Divine Creator designed us to be. I pray that we wake up, level up, find our passion, live with purpose, grow spiritually and evolve into a better, kinder, stronger yet softer human race than this planet has ever experienced. I pray that we somehow reach out to one another in love, in peace and in solidarity so that we can begin to heal from our wounds and from our pain.

I know we haven’t seen the worst of this storm but I pray that after the storm we can leave the worst of humanity behind and become braver, wiser and stronger because of it. 

With all my love, Monica Garcia Saenz 

Monica a published author, poet and self-proclaimed advocate of Self Love who is passionate about empowering people in their journey towards personal, spiritual and professional growth. She has dedicated over 20 years of her life to studying self-development, personal growth and human spiritual evolution. Her deep connection to God and spirit is what inspires her writings and make them powerful.  To read some of her poetry click here.